Must You Claim A Girl ?

1:59 PM 7 Comments A+ a-

Hey Lovviesss,

So I was reading an article on BN a few days ago and I was like OMG this so happened to me and I have to tell y’all about my experience. It’s about guys who Claim.
What do we mean by claiming? Claiming is when a guy claims to have dated you or smashed you, whereas it’s all in his dreams. It never happened.

As the fine babe that I am now, a.k.a  Miss UNAD, Most Beautiful, Sexy Die, Segsy Mama, Omo Eleh Mi Gan Gan, sexy eyes……………………..lolll okay, I will come and add more to this list later. I kuku didn’t give myself all these names o; so sha as per being a girl now, you know you’ll always have guys who want you for whatever reasons best known to them. There are those who have the balls to come up and actually toast, there are those who do the toasting in their dreams but lack the balls to do so in real life – some of them send their uncles, aunts, even parents to do this job (I promise you this has happened to me a few times, most recently last month a guy’s older sister and his mom walked up to me to ask for my number cos their bro\son had been staring at me, & following me through the aisles in the grocery store but said “Sister, this girl is too fine, what if she says No?” – This is another story for another day abeg).

Less I digress. Anyhoos, and there are guy friends who you are just friends with, they’ve never toasted you and you guys are just good palls, and there are almost complete strangers who know EVERYTHING about you because they stalk you via every stalkable means   somehow somehow sha, among this group of guys there is always a claimer who wants to claim you as his girl, or as someone he has smashed before.

Let me start this story. So several years ago right, like 12/13 years ago, the BF back then started acting all kinds of weird, talking about trust issues and how some bees were buzzing at him about me & someone, which didn’t make any sense to me at all cos I was loyal to a T. This was the beginning of us parting ways after such a long time together. (For some reason, DBanj’s Don’t tell me nonsense just entered my head now…..now). Fast forward years later, it turns out a mutual friend of ours was that bee. The funny thing was that mutual friend had told me he was in love with me while BF and I were still together but I didn’t tell BF cos I didn’t want things to get weird with them. Marra of fact, he told me this on one of my birthdays when he showed up with several gifts and plenty birthday cards – you know the era of when birthday cards could even be taller than the celebrant, ehn oooo…that kind of card was there. There were cards in all sizes. Now this guy and I were mad cool then as in my friend any day any time and I always thought he liked me like a sister kinda situation. I had to ask him that day point blank that dude “what is all this now”? That’s how this guy started confessing all kinds of feelings he’s had since he first saw me when I was a teen in Naija. 

I had to laugh it off just so things won’t get awkward. So to cut a long story short, this guy started buzzing in my BF’s ears so that he would break up with me, and that would make the coast clear for him. I didn’t find out all these until many years later when BF finally revealed his source, by then he knew the friend had lied but it was too late.  Ol boy however till date does not know that I know what he did back then. Every now and then he will hit me up on Whatsapp talking about why am I cold towards him. Ol boy, se wan shepe fun eh ni? Abi your head needs a reset? Best stay away from me o! I plan on dropping the bomb one day on him in a most humiliating way. I just have to figure that part out.

Part 2:
So I was emceeing my dear friend’s baby shower last summer right, and that’s how one bloke started asking to talk after the event. I was like dude, I’m busy…yadi…yadi yah. Dude said he was going to wait and wait he did till the very end of the event. We talked a bit in the parking lot but I refused to give my number. Except my number was on the evite or so per planner so he got the number from there anyways. He kept texting etc but I told him I wasn’t interested & ignored him. My friend had her baby dedication and of course there he was again, my 2nd time ever seeing him. As the civilized human being I am I exchanged pleasantries with him and he was there shaking as if kini. He again tried to plead his cause and I wasn’t having any of that. Of course I was sweet and lovely as usual which probably didn’t help matters. Sighhhhh

So please o, a few months later I went to a naija restaurant in my neck of the woods that’s known for their very delish meatpies and sausage rolls, and I saw this guy at a table with a lady, eating and talking. As soon as I walked in the door, the guy whispered something to the girl who had her back to the door, and she immediately turned around to look at me. I nodded my head and smiled at them but went straight to the counter to pick up my order. After paying, I walked up to them to say hello properly. The guy introduces the girl as his cousin visiting from London, and I of course exchanged pleasantries with her as the well brought up Ondo girl that I am  hehehe. Next thing I know, the girl says So Sav, what’s going on now? I’m soooo excited to finally meet you. When should we be expecting you in London? You guys should start planning towards this thing o and stop wasting time (this “thing” = wedding).

Me: ehn? Sorry can you repeat that?
London Girl: Y’all’s wedding now. So so person (pointing to the guy) has been gisting me that you’re the one delaying.
Guy: Head burrowed deep in his neck, and avoiding eye contact with me & the girl, looking like a thief with his hands caught in a pot of soup.
Me: oooookay, errrm I’m not sure what this guy (pointing to guy) has told you, but whatever it is – they are all lies. This is my 3rd time ever laying eyes on him. He is not my BF how much more Fiancé that I would be planning a wedding with or going to London with, heck we are not even friends…. We are not dating, and we’ve never dated and we will not be dating….
Girl: Mouth open and in shock turns to the guy: Lagbaja, why did you tell me all that then? Ki ni gbogbo eleyi now. She turns to me to say she’s so sorry, but I had already walked away from them.

Can you all see the nonsense some men do all in the name of they want a woman??

P.S, I ran into the guy again at a mutual friend’s naming ceremony a few weeks ago and he kept saying please give me your number Sav, I lost my phone & all the contacts on it…….please, please, please.
I looked at my feet to see if I was wearing Dunlop slippers, cos I swear nothing would be better at using to slap some sense into this boy. Mchewwww. Shout out to the real Men out there!!

XoXooo

Love is a beautiful thing.  

Why Are Some Men Menopausal?

11:04 AM 20 Comments A+ a-

Men are menopausal! End of Story!

Heyyyyyyy Loovies. I am super sorry for the hiatus. You know how sheeeet happens sometimes right? Well I’ve had a whole lotta sheeeet going on these days………………..really but God is ever faithful though.

So I’ve had this story for a few weeks now but I really didn’t know if I should or should not gist y’all because I don’t want people to get mad at me. By people I mean men. By men I mean the ones on menopause. By the ones on menopause I mean they probably will identify themselves from this gist. I love you all with the love of God so please don’t get too menopausal about this, and if you do- please make sure you have enough freezers to dip your head in and midol cos I CAN’T DEAL! I’ll try to make this as general as possible sha.

Sighhhh, so here goes.

So for a long time now I’ve always believed men have more emotional issues than women, as in for real for real. So I was in Lasgidi recently to chill (Yeah….my idea of chill is to head to Lagos. People don’t get my obsession with Lagos, and really I don’t either but my classic response to that now is “I was born in Lagos so obviously my placenta is buried somewhere there thus my need to come there every chance I get”. Loll.. oh by the way, if you wanna give me a gift ever, just give me a ticket to Lagos or something I can apply towards buying a ticket. Ohh Yes I just said that!).
Okay back to my story. I met a few guys in Lag right, and there have been some I’ve known before then. So see me see something oo, Lagos trip was like a little over a month ago right and these Lag guys from day 1 asked me out. I’m like ahn..ahn.. y’all have no chill! Like for real…for real, but it’s always fun though..Loll…  This kinda behavior is kinda normal though so I have a formula down to handling them. I do have a few male friends – mostly converted from toaster/admirer to friend/paddi of life/bro.

This particular guy started putting pressure on me and asked me to be his woman, and was asking within a week for a response! (I really should start doing Vlogs cos I cannot express the look on my face in writing…like for real), and I’m like hunhh, you know me well enough in one week, one week oo, one week pere to want to date me? Like what if I’m a psycho person? What if I’m like an opa pa parada kind of girl? As in, what if I be hopping on one leg shouting “Ofe….Ofeeee”?? Did you not read that tweet circulating on social media about that guy that had been kinda dating one mami water kain chick that showed him who she really was in a hotel in Port Harcourt!!!! Ahn..ahn… please what is the hurry? I don’t get…I really don’t get it at all.

Me, trying to be reasonable and all was like ahh Pascal (okay, of cos his name is not Pascal), we’ve only known each other for a few days and really, I just want to be friends so I hope you understand. Pascololo was like ehn Savannah, if we don’t put a name to our friendship we won’t value it. In my head I was like ahh I have plenty names nau, there’s aki and pawpaw, Papa Ajasco, there’s Simbi goes to school; I mean there are plenty of names we could give our friendship other than we’re dating. Period!

That’s how before I could even volunteer these names Pascololo removed me from BBM. I was like waittttt a minute, holdddd up, Pasco removed me from BBM cos I said I’m not doing? Ahn..ahn… abi this boy is not well ni? Mchewwww. Again, I can’t deal.
Now, I don’t like being in conflict or odd situations with anyone and I prefer to talk things out (if your head is not on fire) so we are all on the same page just in case there’s a miscommunication. So I sent Pascololo a text calling him out on such menstrual behavior (sorry I meant menopausal behavior), and dude was like yeah it was childish but he didn’t want to be a pest. I’m like YOU THINK???

So ladies, have you encountered a situation like this where the guy just does a complete 180 degree turn on you just because you’re not feeling him or for whatever reason you can’t\won’t give him what he wants? I mean why can’t we be friends if one party does not care to have more than that?

You men should stop behaving like this oo abeg cos this is how women on menopause behave. Don’t ask me how I know – you go and google symptoms. Oh, and by the way, I’ve experienced this with both older and younger guys so I don’t think it has to do with age. My thing though is if a girl tells you let’s be friends and you start unfriending\blocking\giving attitude, believe me when I say that most girls would probably not want to date you after you’re displayed that kinda behavior.

Girls, I wanna hear your stories please!!

Xoxoxo

Love is a beautiful thing.